Wilderness Survival Skills

Recently a classmate gave me a pack of Wilderness Survival Skills Cards for "the next time you're stuck in the woods" (which seems to happen every week or so). The gift caught me by surprise but couldn't be more practical. Most times I go for a hike with a Nalgene, peanut butter sandwich, and hope for the best. But one day my luck might run out and now I'll be prepared. And so will you! Here's a few of the tips:

1. What can you use instead of toilet paper?
Me: Air.
Sierra Club: Leaves, rocks, moss, your left hand.
2. How can you survive heat exhaustion or heatstroke?
Me: Drink plenty of beer before the hike.
SC: Seek shade, drink lots of water, wet your clothes, rest.
3. What should you do if you get separated from your gear or group?
Me: Cry.
SC: Think, try backtracking, mark your path, make a lot of noise, leave signs, stay hydrated, nap.
4. How do you survive a tornado?
Me: Don't hike in tornado regions.
SC: Run to the side, out of it's path; take cover in a canyon or cave; lie facedown and stay down.
5. How can you select a safe campsite?
Me: Ask someone if you can use their backyard and hope they bring you a hot breakfast and fresh coffee in the morning.
SC: Avoid bear trails, rivers, gullies, and fallen rocks.
6. How can you escape from a mountain lion?
Me: Yell, "Scar! It's me, Simba! Your nephew! Don't kill me!" while running away.
SC: Do not run, stand up straight, vigorously flap your arms to look large, make lots of noise.
7. How can you survive a lightning storm?
Me: Check the Weather Channel before leaving for the hike.
SC: Seek shelter in a vehicle or under a forest, avoid metal.
8. How should you treat sprains and strains?
Me: Keep on keeping on.
SC: Apply ice, wrap with an elastic bandage, elevate injured area, repeat.
9. Your companion has stopped breathing. What should you do?
Me: Take the time to tell them how much you love them and what a great friend they were. Try to remember funny stories or good times spent together to send them off peacefully.
SC: Perform CPR.
10. What should you do if you fall in a river and are swept downstream?
Me: Curse those YMCA swim lessons that were clearly not effective.
SC: Ditch your pack, float on your back, with feet pointed downward; use your arms as oars to slow you down.

What great advice! Hopefully we'll all be a little more prepared for the next time we step out into the great wide open!